Author Mikey Tableman: A Courageous Creative 

Mikey Tableman dreamt of disappearing — into characters, into crowds, into any version of himself that didn’t feel so heavy. He moved to LA to become an actor, to chase the lights, but it was the darkness that taught him who he really was. He found success early in Los Angeles — not on a stage, but in the shadows of nightlife and festivals. He became the guy who could light up a room, facilitate unforgettable experiences, and make people feel like they belonged. Behind the scenes, Mikey was drowning in addiction, anxiety, undiagnosed mania, and a relentless need to prove he was worth something to others and to myself. He would go on to build the non-profit, A Mind’s Pursuit, to be a space to speak the truth out loud. He would serve as a co-host of Chaos Controlled, an unfiltered podcast with actor/advocate Danny J. Gomez. Most recently, Mikey penned My Manic Maze, the poetry-driven memoir and spoken word EP that walks through the storm. Flattered to be conducting this chat. 

Let's start off with something very significant: September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. Could you share with readers how you believe they can be helpful to others struggling with these thoughts? Further, do you believe there are some misconceptions that society holds about those with mental health issues? 

The biggest thing I can do is share my story. I have lived through suicidal thoughts, and I have been in places mentally where I genuinely could not see a way out. I talk about those moments openly because I want someone who is sitting in that darkness right now to see that they are not alone. Sometimes we think our struggles make us different or that nobody could possibly understand what is happening inside our head. However, the more open I became about my own mental health, the more people I met would say, “Me too.” That is why I believe conversation is such an important part of prevention. According to the latest national data, 14.3 million American adults reported seriously thinking about suicide in 2024. That is roughly one out of every eighteen adults. When something is affecting millions of people every year, we cannot continue treating it like something we are supposed to whisper about. 

There are still massive misconceptions surrounding mental health and suicide. One of the most damaging is this idea that talking openly about suicide somehow encourages it. I believe the opposite: silence allows people to believe they are alone in what they are experiencing. We need to be willing to ask difficult questions, listen without immediately judging or trying to fix someone, and take people seriously when they tell us they are struggling. Mental illness is illness. We would never tell someone with another serious illness to simply toughen up, think positively, or be grateful for what they have. Yet, we still do versions of that with mental health. We have to stop treating a struggling mind like a character flaw and start giving it the same compassion, attention, and seriousness we would give any other part of the body that is hurting. That is a huge reason why I created My Manic Maze and why I continue telling my story. I cannot promise that sharing my experience will save somebody, but I can make sure the person hearing it knows that someone else has been there, that someone understands, and that there is no shame in asking for help. Sometimes simply knowing you are not the only person fighting that battle can be the beginning of believing that the battle is worth fighting. 

Outside of all the fabulous artistic endeavors you engage in, your day job finds you acting as Director of Skydeck Operations - which means you oversee some of the best festivals in operation today. Can you break down some of your duties for us, and has this position helped you with your other professional endeavors?  

On paper, my job as Director of Skydeck Operations is overseeing a lot of moving parts; teams, logistics, hospitality, operations, guest experience, and making sure all of those pieces come together across some incredibly large-scale events. Yet, I have always looked at my job a little differently. My job is to help create experiences that people will remember for the rest of their lives. The world can be hard, and for those few hours or few days, we get to create this almost alternate world where people can leave some of that weight at the door; be present, connect with each other, and let music be at the forefront. Music can be incredibly healing, and there is something powerful about watching thousands of people who may have completely different lives outside those gates share the same moment together. 

A huge part of my job is also people. In an environment with that many moving parts and that much pressure, it can become very easy to look at people as positions instead of human beings. I try to really see the people around me, especially our staff. I know what that pressure feels like, and I think leadership has to include understanding that there is a human being underneath the radio, the credential, the uniform, or the job title. Learning how to connect with people, how to listen, how to lead different personalities, and how to bring people together around one shared experience has influenced almost everything else I do. Professionally, the education I have received from being around organizations operating at this scale has been invaluable. I have watched incredibly talented people and massive companies take hundreds of moving pieces and turn them into one cohesive experience, and I am extremely grateful for everything that has taught me. I am applying so much of that knowledge now as I build A Mind’s Pursuit and its different creative platforms. On the surface, a festival, a nonprofit, a live spoken-word experience, and a media platform might look like completely different things. Underneath, I am still building ecosystems where a lot of different pieces have to connect around one purpose. Skydeck has taught me how to see the entire machine while never forgetting that the machine is made up of people. 

You have been incredibly open about your struggles with mania, suicidal ideation, anxiety, addition and ADHD, and I admire this. Is today's current climate exacerbating any of these conditions? Further, how do you ensure that you keep your mental health as a priority when you are juggling all your artistic endeavors? 

I absolutely think today’s climate is exacerbating a lot of these struggles. There is so much division, anger, and uncertainty around us. Everything is expensive, people are working harder just to survive, and half the time we do not even know what to believe anymore. You open your phone and it can feel like the world is falling apart in real time. We are absorbing all of that while still being expected to go to work, pay our bills, take care of our families, chase our dreams and somehow remain mentally healthy through it all. I also think there is a real psychological disconnect happening for a lot of people right now. We did what we were told to do. Get an education. Work hard. Save your money. Build a career. Be responsible. Keep pushing. Those were supposed to be the steps toward stability, yet so many people are doing all of those things and still feel like they cannot get ahead. You can work harder than you ever have, make more money than you ever have, and somehow still feel like you are falling behind. That does something to you mentally. It can make you question yourself because you think, “I am doing everything right, so why does it still feel like I am losing?” I think we need to acknowledge how emotionally exhausting that is instead of convincing people that they simply are not working hard enough. 

I wish I could say that because I talk openly about mental health and have done so much work on myself, I have figured out some perfect way to manage it. I have not. I still deal with anxiety. I still deal with depression. There are still days when my mind gets the best of me. I journal, I work out, I build LEGOs, I find things that allow my brain to slow down and be present, and all of those things help. I also think it is important to be honest and say that sometimes those things are not enough. Sometimes you can do all the things you are “supposed” to do and still have a difficult day. What has become incredibly important for me is the people around me. I lean on my team, my friends and the guys with whom I have built this next chapter of my life. We are all trying to navigate this crazy world together, and having people who know me well enough to recognize when I am starting to spiral keeps me grounded. Sometimes taking care of my mental health is not some profound wellness practice. Sometimes it is grabbing coffee with a few of the boys before we film an episode of Conversations With The Boys, laughing about absolutely nothing important, and realizing afterward how much I needed that. Those moments fill my soul. They remind me that mental health is not always about fixing yourself. Sometimes it is about connection, being around people who allow you to be yourself, and not having to carry everything alone. 

You hosted the podcast, Chaos Controlled, for three seasons, and I read that your new host is none other than RJ Mitte (who I adore). Please share more about the topics discussed on this show, and why you selected RJ to become a host. Additionally, your new show, Conversations with the Boys, centers around discussions on male mental health, stigma and personal struggles. Who can we expect to see as future guests? 

Chaos Controlled will always have such a special place in my heart because it was really the first piece of what eventually became the A Mind’s Pursuit ecosystem. It is definitely bittersweet stepping away from the host chair after three seasons. What originally started as more of a nightlife and entertainment podcast grew into something much bigger. At its core, the goal became humanizing people. We have had these incredibly successful people with huge careers and followings sit across from us and talk honestly about anxiety, insecurity, addiction, failure, relationships, mental health and the things happening behind the version of themselves everyone else sees. I love breaking down that wall because success does not make you immune to struggle. Sometimes hearing someone you admire say, “I struggle with this too,” makes you realize that maybe you are not as alone or as different as you thought you were. 

We absolutely love RJ and the entire Mitte family. They have been such a blessing to us, and RJ has been involved with what we are building for a while, so bringing him in felt very natural. However, one of the biggest factors for me was his relationship with my co-host, Danny J. Gomez. Danny is the heart and soul of Chaos Controlled, and as I started thinking about stepping away from hosting, I needed whoever came in next to understand that and to see Danny for the special human being he is. RJ and Danny already have a longtime friendship, so there is a genuine comfort and chemistry between them that you cannot manufacture. Danny’s blessing mattered tremendously to me, and when he was excited about RJ, I knew we had the right person. I am still involved as Executive Producer, so I get to watch something I love continue to grow while also giving it room to become its next version. 

Conversations With The Boys is another project that has become incredibly special to me. We are creating a space where men can have the conversations we often avoid—mental health, masculinity, relationships, identity, addiction, purpose, failure, friendship, faith and the pressure of trying to figure out what being a man even means today. We have already had some amazing guests, and the upcoming lineup continues to expand that conversation. We have actor Jamel King from All American, influencer, dancer and reality personality Roman Royale, WWE announcer Mark Shunock, author Billy Hanson, and several other surprises coming from the worlds of professional sports and entertainment. What excites me most is that we are not looking for one type of man or one definition of success. I want different backgrounds, different perspectives and different experiences sitting at that table, because the more honest and diverse the conversation becomes, the more men watching can hopefully see a piece of themselves in it. 

Your nonprofit is entitled A Mind's Pursuit, and how does your charity differ from those who serve the mental health community? How did sobriety help shape your journey towards entrepreneurship? 

What makes A Mind’s Pursuit different is that we are not trying to be a traditional mental health organization. We are not doctors or therapists, and we are very intentional about that. Our lane is life experience, creativity, entertainment and culture. I believe there are incredible organizations doing important clinical work and providing resources, but there is still a huge gap between someone struggling and someone being willing to say, “I need help.” That gap is where I believe AMP can make an impact. We want to change the way people talk about mental health before they ever walk into a therapist’s office. Sometimes that starts with a poem, a podcast, a live event, a conversation between friends or simply hearing someone else tell the truth about what they have been through. That is why everything under AMP can look completely different on the surface. My Manic Maze uses spoken word, music, storytelling and live performance. Conversations With The Boys puts men around a table and creates space for conversations we have historically been taught to avoid. Chaos Controlled humanizes successful people by showing what exists behind the accomplishments. Our live experiences bring those worlds together and allow people to connect in person. They are different vehicles, but they are all driving toward the same destination: making conversations around mental health feel normal, accessible and human. We are trying to meet people where they already are rather than waiting for them to come looking for us. 

Sobriety changed everything for me because it forced me to stop escaping. For a long time, if something hurt, I knew how to numb it, avoid it, outrun it or bury myself in work. Getting sober took away one of my biggest escape routes, and suddenly I had to sit with myself. That was uncomfortable, but it also gave me clarity. I started understanding my patterns, my mental health and the reasons I had been running so hard for so long. I also realized that so much of what I had lived through could either remain something that happened to me or become something I did something with. Sobriety gave me the clarity and discipline to start turning those experiences into purpose. It helped me build My Manic Maze, grow A Mind’s Pursuit and surround myself with people who believed in the same mission. I do not look at entrepreneurship now as simply building businesses or projects. I look at it as building an ecosystem around purpose. I spent a lot of years trying to escape my own mind. Today, I am building something that I hope makes it a little easier for somebody else to live inside theirs. 

It is not often I meet someone who created a memoir (My Manic Maze) that is also in spoken word EP format. Was there a specific reason you released this in two formats? Did you learn anything about yourself while creating this written chronicle? 

My Manic Maze really became a multi-format project organically. It started with the spoken word pieces and performing them live. After shows, people would come up to me wanting to know more about what happened before that piece, where that feeling came from, what happened afterward. I realized the poems could make someone feel something, but there was an entire story behind them that I had an opportunity to tell. That is where the memoir really came from. The EP became seven pieces centered around different parts of my mental health journey depression and mania, imposter syndrome, ADHD, anxiety, addiction, suicide, and ultimately self-forgiveness and acceptance while the memoir gave me the space to tell the stories and experiences behind those moments. Then there is the live experience, which has become another component entirely. Hearing a track through headphones is one experience; seeing me stand in front of you and perform those words is something completely different. There is music, visual storytelling and production around it, but ultimately it is a human being standing on stage saying some incredibly vulnerable things out loud. The response to that has been one of the most meaningful parts of this entire journey. People come up afterward and tell me which piece felt like their story, or share something they are going through that they may not have felt comfortable saying before. That is when I realized My Manic Maze was not just a book with an accompanying EP. The book, the music and the live experience are different entry points into the same story, and each gives people a different way to connect with it. Writing the memoir also forced me to look at my own life differently. When I started putting everything down chronologically, I began seeing connections I had never noticed before. I could see patterns in my behavior, the ways I was coping, the things I was running from and how one chapter of my life was affecting the next. There were things I had spent years blaming myself for that I could finally look back on with a little more compassion and understanding. 

I think the biggest thing I learned is that healing does not require me to rewrite my past or pretend I am grateful for every painful thing that happened. Some of it was awful. Some of it I wish had never happened. Some of it was caused by other people, and some of it was caused by me. But it is all part of my story. Creating My Manic Maze taught me that I can acknowledge all of those versions of myself without having to hate any of them. I cannot change the kid I was, the mistakes I made, the things that happened to me or the places my mind took me. What I can do is decide what I create from all of it now. 

Looking towards the immediate future, what are some of your personal goals? 

The immediate future feels incredibly exciting because so many of the things we have spent years building are starting to come together. Personally, I would love to see My Manic Maze recognized by the Recording Academy and earn a Grammy nomination. Of course that would be an incredible personal achievement, but what excites me even more is what that kind of platform could do for the message behind the project. If a body of work about mental health, addiction, suicide, anxiety and healing can reach a stage like that, then the conversations we are trying to create get that much louder. Beyond that, my focus is continuing to expand A Mind’s Pursuit and taking Conversations With The Boys on the road so we can bring these conversations directly into communities, colleges, companies and live audiences. The bigger dream is building the AMP campus, a physical home where creativity, community, mental health, media and live experiences can all exist together. I want a place where people can create, have conversations, find connections and feel like they belong. Ultimately, though, all of those goals are really one goal. Whether it is a Grammy stage, a Conversations With The Boys tour, an AMP event, a keynote, a book, a podcast or eventually our own campus, I want to keep finding bigger and more creative ways to further the mission. I want to help make talking about our minds as normal as talking about our body. 

What are some of the best ways folks can stay in touch with you directly? 

The easiest way to stay connected with me directly is through social media. I am very active on Instagram and try to share not only the projects and performances, but the real journey behind all of it, the good days, the difficult ones, the creative process, and everything we are building. You can also follow A Mind’s Pursuit and Conversations With The Boys to keep up with our events, new episodes, live shows and everything happening within the AMP world. If you really want to get to know me and understand the story behind all of this, listen to My Manic Maze, available now on all streaming platforms, and check out the memoir as well. I genuinely love hearing from people who connect with the work, especially when someone shares how a poem, conversation or story made them feel a little less alone. At the end of the day, that connection is why I am doing all of this. More information on Mikey is here:  A MINDS PURSUIT